sadness

  Today was absolutely one of the worst days ever. I have been feeling pretty depressed and unhappy about my job for the past few months which is something I am dealing with and can get over with out having to talk about.However there was something that happened at school today that was the straw that broke this camels already weak back. 

One of my new students is a bit of a handful to say the least. I have had worries about her behavior, lack of social, and communication skills from the start and even discussed them with my supervisor. I have met her mother a few times and always got an uneasy vibe about her. Something just never seemed right.  

Well that mother came in today, she went to my supervisor and stated that she no longer wanted to be a mother. She did not want her daughter. She wanted to abandon her. Leave her there at school and stated how no one better try to call or come after her. She wanted nothing to do with her child.  My supervisor calmly talked to this woman and took the appropriate action of calling the authorities. She then pulled me out of class to inform me of all that was going on.

The day had already been a rough one and then when she layed all this information on me I just lost it. I immediately started bawling. How could she do this?!  What kind of mother is she? I was so angry at her and the world at that moment. Angry for my student and angry at the situation. Here I was, trying so hard to have a child, desperately wanting to be a mother and praying every night that this can be, and here she is just wanting to abandon her own flesh and blood! I could not control my emotions at this point. My heart was breaking for my dear student. I just wanted to run to her, hug her, and tell her I loved her. I wondered if she had ever been told that before?  It came clear that even thought she was living with her mother and grandma, they were so detached from her and incapable of showing any love for this child. She basically had no one. And she is 5. 

Authorities were able to finally get in touch with her other grandma. You know, the non-involved father's mother. But she said that she could only take her for five days.

Umm.....excuse me?! You can only take her for five days? So helping your granddaughter is too much of an inconvenience for you!! What the hell is wrong with these people!!! I want to punch them all in the face! 

My heart and my spirit are crushed. I have been crying all afternoon. A million questions have been running through my mind. The only solace I have found is that the mother came to the school to tell us her intentions . I think it was a cry for help. I don't even want to think about the other options that she could have taken to get rid of her daughter. I thank God for her telling us!  I fear that after this week I will not see her again. If they would let me, I would adopt her! Take care of her and love her. Give her the home she deserves.
Tonight my thoughts and prayers will be with this dear little girl.