Gratitude

On Tuesday I had a pity party for myself. Sorry I didn't invite you all. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision, my husband was the only other one in attendance. 

There is something that very few people know and I have never before talked about on my blog, but I think I am ready now. Jordan and I want kids. We want them like, really really really, really really really really really really bad :) We started trying shortly after marriage and ever since then I have been having health problems and then in December of last year I had a miscarriage. We told practically no one. A few months and a couple doctors appointment later I was put on Clomid. Seven months later.... and still nothing. Last week Jordan and I thought for sure that I was pregnant. I didn't want to get too excited because I always do and I am always disappointed. I hate peeing on that stupid stick and seeing a big fat negative looking back at me every time. A few months ago I even threw one against the wall in anger (not like I thought a good throw would magically change the results, but it felt good non the less) Then to my disappointment it did not bust open on contact so I took it upon myself to break it in my hands! Have you ever seen the inside of a pregnancy test?!! Because I have, and it's pretty cool!  Anyways... to get back on track.... we thought we were pregnant, I just felt different and even though I told myself I wasn't pregnant to get my hopes up, deep down I kept thinking... this is finally it! I am certain I am with child! Alas, I was not. Cue pity party.

This post IS about gratitude.. I promise I'm getting there.

I know that this problem is actually common among women, I am not the first and sadly I will not be the last to experience such heartache. I have been doing a lot of reading and found a few blogs/support groups and they have helped me cope. I am so grateful for the positive outlook that other women have, they truly have been a beacon of strength and hope.

Despite my recent (and brief) pity party, I wake up each day just so grateful for the things that I do have!
I keep seeing all over facebook people posting reasons of gratitude for the month of November. I love the idea and have therefor decided to do it as well on the blog. Some things may be a little silly, but I truly am grateful for every single thing I'm about to list. They make me happy and life just a little more enjoyable.

Things I am grateful for
(in no particular order)

• I found a job!! It was such a blessing and is a perfect fit for me! 
• The Walking Dead. A show about zombies, enough said
• My husband, he makes me feel like the luckiest.
• Diet Coke from QT
• Music in all forms. 
• My nieces and nephew, they put the biggest smile on my face.
• My new calling, teaching primary with Jordan... this is going to be fun. 
• Laughter 
• White powdered doughnuts
• Hot showers

There is so much more, but this will do for now.